Kia ora! And welcome to the first instalment of our weekly series, Becoming: Our Stories. We believe that storytelling plays a pivotal role in community, through it we create a space where we feel safe, loved and known. So every week Laura Taylor will be telling the stories of people from our community, centering around each topic we are pulling apart over the coming months. For this week On Money, she spoke to three generations from Central Vineyard for their thoughts on spending, saving and everything in between.
Ruth and Phil
Laura: Ruth and Phil! Can you tell me a little bit about yourselves and what you are both passionate about?
Well Phil likes business, he is very entrepreneurial and likes starting new things - plus he is pretty passionate about me (haha!). And I really love design. I love designing houses and creating spaces, be it tiny houses, caravans, apartments. I just love architecture and making things beautiful - not fussy just simple forms. I’m also passionate and have invested my whole life in raising a family and my marriage, I’ve been doing that for 26 years. But finally, I am passionate about seeing people become really whole and well within themselves, in the Lord. Becoming more of themselves, showcasing their individuality and quirkiness.
Together you have built a home and raised a family - what kind of role did money play in that?
Well, we had six children, so we had to make a bit of money! But we have always basically lived at the same level our entire lives. 25 years ago we had a flat and one baby and made ends meet, now we have 12 of us (including our mothers) that we, directly and indirectly, support financially, and we pretty much live at the same level as when we first got married! We have enough - a fair lifestyle - never in abundance, but never in want.
I know a lot of people have been on the receiving end of your generosity - how have you incorporated this into your everyday life? Does it flow naturally, or is it a muscle you have grown?
It is pretty natural - just because I consider resource as from the Lord, and part of that is sharing. Particularly sharing with the children, my children live here in our house and our mothers live together because we believe it's a family resource. But we also try to help other people, whether it is offering employment, an apprenticeship, a few school fees so that people know God cares for them. The whole generosity thing is being invested in other people’s lives in a meaningful way. For there is nothing like money that costs you something. We haven’t done it out of an abundance - it definitely cost us something. It’s just all part of that keep a little save a little give a little. The philosophy of being a river not a pool - the Lord gives more as it flows through, but if you are holding it all then your pond will overflow and do damage and become stagnant and smell. It’s important to tithe, but I feel it is also important to invest in people in the name of the Lord. Random acts of kindness that are meaningful for individuals, because they give glory to God, and feel loved from the Lord.
We are so grateful to have you as part of this community and the wisdom you offer us! If you could give 20-year-old Ruth and Phil some advice around money - what would it be?
The tortoise wins. Growing up we had all our money in the business all the time, and didn’t get our own home for many years. Holding on to one asset for a long time and trying to keep it and build on it slowly, in the end it seems to pay off. Our finances have come from long-term holding. But you have to do a bit of a mixture I guess, I would say guys save up and get yourself some kind of property that you can rent. But you don’t have to rush it! Slowly let them accumulate. The other thing is always pay your tithe, and save something every week. Make it part of your philosophy. A posture of receiving money as a gift from the Lord.
JESS AND KERI
Laura: Hi Jess and Keri! Can you tell us a bit about yourselves and your whanau?
Jess is a teacher originally from Wellington, Keri is a Graphics Producer born and raised on the North Shore. We now live in Hobsonville Point with our three balls of trouble: Waiata, Aranui, and Manawa.
As parents with young kids, how has your attitude to spending changed from say ten years ago?
Kids are giant, gaping pits, into which you pour money and time and energy. Before kids, all these things are spent on your own enjoyment. If you want to go to a movie, you walk out the door and stop in at Burger Fuel. If you want to go for a weekend away, just throw some stuff in the trunk and go. Kids are a new factor in the calculation. You need to focus on your budget, especially if you're living on one salary. If you want to go to a movie, you need to sort a sitter, make popcorn at home, go to a cinema in another location because it's cheaper. Holidays are minor military operations. Basically your spending habits change because you realise that if you make bad decisions, it's no longer just you who will be put out.
What are some ways to be content with what we have been given?
Tuatahi - Be generous. Yeah, there's people doing better than you, but there's plenty doing worse. And giving, even a little bit, means so much to everyone you give to. Some of the happiest people we've met around the world have been the most generous, especially those who gave when they had very little to give.
Tuarua - You can always make more money. Time and experiences will never come back. If we wanted to, we could always work more and earn more, but the opportunity cost is time spent with our children. We made a decision that Jess would stay at home with our children, without working, for as long as possible. It means we don't get to go out as often but the time we spend together is precious. We don't have as much as we could, but our kids have as much of us as they could desire (unless we won Lotto and then we would both not work).
Tuatoru - Gratitude. People operate under the false assumption that everything they have is theirs, they earned it. We understand that we're more the kaitiakitanga of God's grace, that everything we've received thus far has been because of God's will and generosity. Learn that all you have is providence. Being thankful for what you have instead of what you don't have.
Many of us at CV are in the exceptionally privileged position to have somewhere to live, an income, all things that allow us opportunities, with that do you think there is a responsibility to give back?
Giving is essential. It's pivotal to being a believer, a Christian. It doesn't have to be to your church or your pastor, it doesn't have to be a set amount, high or low. It doesn't have to beggar us, but giving a portion of what you have is key. Everyone thinks giving is about helping someone else out - but that is a broken way to think about it. Giving is acknowledging that there are those out there who are in need, that you have the power to do something about it, and finally that you'll move towards alleviating another's suffering. Giving makes you an agent of change, it isn't for the receiver, giving is for the giver.
HANNAH WOOD
Laura: Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
I’m 29, love good food and wine (if I’m allowed to say that in church haha!) and value having good people around to share life with! I have a background in Food Tech and spent a number of years working around the country with Fonterra, but 2 years I decided to make a leap of faith and start a gelato business of my own – Little ‘Lato. Outside of that, some of my favourite things to do are walk the beach, make yum food and zone out to music.
You own your own business, and I know that this has caused you to make some big lifestyle decisions, can you tell me a bit about those?
There have been heaps of changes that I could talk about, but two that spring to mind are moving home and starting Sabbath. Moving back home was one of the changes I made about a year ago, with the idea of saving a bit of money over summer last year. It was only going to be a short-term thing but I quickly decided it made sense to stay longer, helping with some of the financial stresses and also with balancing my life a bit more. Doing a proper sabbath is also one of the things I started doing last year, initially inspired after the Formatio conference with John Mark Comer. This has been one of the most life-changing things I could have done! For me this involves taking a day off in the middle of the week to properly relax and do things that bring delight. It has been one of the key things that I think has kept me sane over the past year and has probably been the only thing that has gotten me through all the sacrifices.
Needing to be self-sufficient, do you find it hard to be generous?
It is definitely harder to be generous, yes. For a long time I have had a practice of having a bank account devoted entirely to giving away. I still have this account, but it is just a lot smaller than it ever used to be. It is something that I struggle with because I want to be a person of generosity, but it now has to be a bit more planned/intentional than it was in the past. I still at times can spend without thinking and then realise that I didn’t actually have that money to spend or give away. I think there also ways to be more creative with generosity that don’t necessarily cost as much as just simply shouting their meal or buying them a lavish present.
How we use our money has potential to shape the kind of person we become - what are some practices or mindsets you think can be useful to help us form a healthy perspective on it?
I think the first step is to be aware of the person you want to be/become, as was mentioned by Dan in the first sermon of this series. If you want to be known as a person of generosity or to be wise with your money, then what are some practical steps you can take to get there? It’s quite an individual journey to go through, but it’s important stuff to think through. Rather than just setting goals about how much money you want to have, do you/we set goals about how to use this money for things bigger than yourself or to grow you into the person you want to become? I think being conscious to tithe is also hugely important, despite how tight your circumstance is. Even if just a small amount, it can have a big impact on your mindset of what you own and how you want to use what has been given to you.