The Familiar Stranger - pt 1: The Spirit we hardly know
By Dan Sheed
Have you ever had that jarring moment where you realise that you don’t really know a person? You thought you knew them, but it turns out, you don’t. They are familiar, yet, a stranger.
Somewhere along the line, the Holy Spirit has become that familiar stranger to so many in the Church. We sing about Him. We pray to Him. But, do we really know Him?
Tyler Staton writes:
“The Holy Spirit is the most present yet most ignored person in the Church.”
The stats confirm it. According to a 2022 LifeWay Research survey, nearly 60% of American Christians believe the Holy Spirit is a force, not a person. That’s not just a theological misstep—it’s a relational breakdown. If most Christians see the Spirit as an impersonal power source, no wonder we’re confused or uncomfortable when He shows up personally.
This Pentecost, what if we allowed that discomfort to become holy discontent? What if we said: “I don’t want to just know about God anymore. I want to meet Him.” Let’s open ourselves again to the Holy Spirit—not as a vague force, but as the Person Jesus promised would be with us.
The Spirit Is Not an “It”—but a “Who”
In John 14, Jesus tells us who the Holy Spirit is to him. First key piece to notice is Jesus doesn’t say “it”—He says He. Yet many of us—shaped more by culture than Jesus’ introduction in Scripture—imagine the Spirit like divine electricity or Star Wars-style energy.
LifeWay’s research shows this isn’t just a fringe view—it’s a scarily dominant one. But here’s the thing: you can’t know or be loved by a force. You can only know a person.
As Tyler puts it:
“If you think of the Spirit primarily as power, you’ll try to harness Him. If you think of Him as a person, you’ll try to know Him.”
The Spirit is not a heavenly upgrade system or a tool for spiritual highs. He is Jesus’ ongoing presence. He’s called the “Advocate” (Parakletos)—meaning Helper, Comforter, Counsellor. A companion, not a commodity.
So here’s the confronting question: have you been relating to the Spirit as an “it”—a force—or as a “who”? One leads to control. The other leads to communion.
Why Don’t We Know the Spirit? Because We’re Not Looking
Jesus continues:
“The world cannot receive Him, because it isn’t looking for Him and doesn’t recognise Him.” —John 14:17
This isn’t just a critique of “the world”—it’s a diagnostic reality check for us.
We say we believe in the Spirit—but LifeWay’s research suggests we’re not looking for a Person at all. And that has consequences. When you expect an impersonal force, you don’t listen for a voice. You don’t seek friendship. You don’t linger in His presence.
In a culture of constant input and endless distraction, the Spirit’s voice is easy to miss. He whispers. And we only hear Him when we slow down.
This past Lent, I started prayer walking early each morning. No agenda—just walking the dog, listening to worship, and asking the Spirit to speak. Some days I came home with a word of encouragement. Some days, just peace. Every day, I sensed the Spirit’s gentle presence. Not a force, but a friend. I went without a bit of sleep, but I woke up to God.
It’s amazing what we might find if we only go and look.
The Spirit Is Just Like Jesus
Jesus then goes on to say:
“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate…” —John 14:16
“Another” here means another of the same kind. The Spirit isn’t a step down from Jesus—He’s just like Him.
So if you're unsure what’s from the Spirit, just ask: Does it look like Jesus? Is it loving, true, holy, healing, merciful? If not—it’s not the Spirit.
This is vital, especially for those who’ve been hurt by manipulative or confusing expressions of “Spirit-led” ministry. If it doesn't reflect Jesus, it isn’t the Holy Spirit—no matter what label someone puts on it.
And again—this is where the research matters. If we think the Spirit is some vague power, we’re more likely to excuse bad behaviour as spiritual. But when we understand He is the Spirit of Jesus, we hold everything up to the light of Christ.
The Invitation: Know the Spirit as a Friend
What if LifeWay’s survey is right—but doesn’t have to stay that way?
What if this Pentecost could mark a shift—from vague belief to relational trust? From seeing the Spirit as a tool, to walking with Him as a friend?
You don’t need all the right words. You just need openness. Here’s where to start:
1. Pay attention.
Ask yourself: Where might the Spirit already be moving in my life? What have I been ignoring?
2. Create space.
Turn off the noise. Start your day not with your phone, but with the Spirit.
3. Ask Him to reveal Himself.
Simple prayers matter. Try: “Holy Spirit, I want to know You. Make Yourself known to me.”
We’re also making space together as a church:
Our 24-7 Prayer Room is open in the lead-up to Pentecost. Book a slot. Linger in His presence.
Every Sunday, we’ll leave space for ministry—to listen, to receive, to respond.
Right now, wherever you are, you could try this. Stop, open your hands, and take a breath. Whisper the ancient prayer:
“Come, Holy Spirit.”
He’s not a force to manage. He’s a Person to know. And He’s already closer than you think.
Come and join the journey of knowing Him more that we are commited to taking together.